I waited so long

For that tiny

Little lifeline

That I held in my pocket.

You know –

The one that makes

A little boy shrink

In embarrassment

From a kiss forced

On his cheek

By his mother.

I waited. And waited.

And I’m still waiting.

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Each one of these is a seperate poem, written on seperate paper, I just didn't want to waste posts over these, in case it didn't interest someone. This is a newer form of writing, and something I've just picked up on within the last few months.


I finally threw out

All the poems

That I couldn’t

Let go of

Before.

 

 

I never really

Wrote anything

About you.

Sorry.

 

 

I’m afraid of so much

More than what I’ve told you.

I wish I could write

Everything down,

But I don’t ...

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I take back my heart,

My shattered heart.

 

I take back my hope,

Your stolen hope.

 

I take back my tears,

All those salty tasting tears.

 

But,. I would take you back.

If you would just come back.*

 

*Disclaimer: Not a love poem.

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Blaming God for a Hundred Years

 

You blamed God for the car,

That would eventually take you far.

 

You blamed God for sinking your ship,

When the aluminum metal was simply stripped.

 

You blamed God for the second world war,

And sent away the Japanese, afraid of more.

 

You blamed God for those men

That built camps and went against Him.

 

You blamed God for cancer and death,

When everyone takes their last breath.

 

You blamed God for the Twins,

Yet continued to soak in you...

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Dear Life –

Thanks a lot. Thanks for computer crashes and stock crashes and everything in between. Thanks for dirty feet and dirty minds, cold weather and for cold mothers. Thanks a ton for protein bars that can’t even taste good, and for candy bars that taste too good. Thanks for small talk with strangers and small walks with mom. Thanks for failing me when I deserved it and thanks for failing me when I didn’t deserve it. Thanks for reruns of my favorite shows and the last seat on th...

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I remember the frustration –

“I did nothing wrong!”

When everything I did

Was nothing short incorrect.

I remember the tears welling up inside –

“No, I’ll be okay”

and I got used to disappointment

and losing on this very day.

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I walked behind my father
picking up stones while he
picked up golf balls
in the back field.
I would stretch my strides
to fit his footprints
in the mud.

I watched my mother
cooking spaghetti and
breaking the noodles
in half to fit in my little mouth.
Outside I would break twigs
to length my mother
always did, pretending
to be a chef.

I walked behind my father
that last time he left
trying to get one last kiss
to last me "til next time".
After school I aways waited
for his maroon honda
to never show up.

I wat...
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I'm so sorry for not writing lately -- I've been so busy with school, semester finals and having a horrible cold that I just haven't had time for myself. It's okay, though! Only 4 more days of high school left and then I have time for you!

My next project is putting all of my writings and works together in a portfolio for my graduation party. I hope I can find all the good stuff. I'll just ex-nay the not-so-good stuff. Maybe I'll add some real good stuff on here when I find it. yipee!

I also f...
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Life has its phases,
and its time is so bleak.
It travels across the faces
of every race, rich and weak.

The frailty of hope
chases faith held inside.
Give a friend comfort to cope,
and the permission to cry.

"Whatever you do
may seem insignificant..."
to you,
"...but it is most important,
that you do it".

The quote at the end of this poem can be found on the overpass on the corner of 10th and Sherman Ave. in Indianapolis. Everytime I pass it on my way to dad's, it makes a bigger impact on me. Eventually ...
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    I have been seated in the same bent and broken desk at Greencastle High School for the last four years, etching questions on my brain that only cut deeper and deeper everyday, now more than ever:
What am I going to learn here? I've yet to answer that question.
Where am I going to use this stuff? Two words: Standardized Tests, after that, nowhere.
And now, last but not least... Why is there such a gap in the relationship between teachers and students? Because, my dear friend, teachers get p...

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I found this new Hard-Rock Cafe poster, and for some reason it has inspired me to think more about baby.

I've decided if I have a girl (and we already have a nickname thanks to Sissy, my aunt - Gert), I want her to be fiesty. I don't want a dainty little girl who won't get her fingernails dirty. I want her to be what she wants to be, my dreams for her are not the dreams she has to live by. I've learned, by being a daughter myself, that Parents have an impact on their children more than they th...
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Squeeze the juice back into the eyes of those who chose May 4th (the day that I also happen to be unvoluntarily sick) as Senior Skip Day.

I woke up yesterday morning and, of course! My throat hurt, my head was pounding, my entire body was achy, and the only thing I could take was Tylenol. So I gave myself the right dosage, told myself "Go home after Sunday School and get some rest". Well, apparently I wasn't the only sick one, because during Sunday School the Nursery worker for the day also w...
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Listen to me play like a broken record, I'm tired of repeating myself never being heard, you were wrong, but I'm the one to blame. Put me up for display, I'm so used to this shame. your reputation must be important, for you have some self righteous pedastal, to me, it's only a foot stool. Sorry honey, that's the way I feel. My story of a tragic end, is only too real. I'll take your secrets to my grave but you won't even take my memories to your fame.
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Life; as it is

falling apart like we've predicted

Love; as it is

depressingly vindictive

Someone has to hurt

while the other one feeds

one has to live

while the other bleeds

Love; heartache

just two more words for devotion

let it consume your thoughts

for it controls your emotions.

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 The setting of this particular event is in one of the most pecular places one can have an inspiration. The potty room. On top of that, a public potty room. Please don't feel offended, and don't shy away from this story. I promise you, it is worth reading.
     Walking down the long endless hallway of the restroom, I had no idea what was in store for me, and I never realized how easy it is for me to forget things I really need to do. I won't mention those things. For some reason I happened to...
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I realize there is a huge risk in putting something I write on an open blog. That's because I'm a terribly trusting person. I don't believe someone take something that a mediocre writer would post publically and uncopy-righted. I do not believe that what I write is amazing. I can't bethe judge of that, that's why I want you, reader, to be.

I would like to say that I am putting my full trust in whoever you are, whoever comes across my website that what I have to say is not exploited on the inte...
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Reaching in the sky for an incentive;
inspiration and happiness are too intensive -
My hands and heart up in the clouds,
and when I brought them down:
Inspiration from the God above,
with every bit of passion and love.
I did not search and seek for dawn,
after Day's curtain had been drawn.
Instead I rested on the earth -
Next to that open, natural hearth.
When Rain wakened me with a gentle drop,
I began my Journey, to the mountain top.
It wasn't easy, at times I fell.
But I was so determined to excel,
That...
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I've been so demanded,
and brainwashed convinced,
that the world in which I belong,
is where monsters exist.
When others are dreaming
of their wedding day,
I am stuck chasing
my nightmares away.
No helpful solutions,
as normal as can be,
can push them far enough
from coming back to me.
When I close my eyes,
and drift off to sleep,
here are the things
that my mind seems to keep.

I wrote this about my nightmares. Everynight I have some kind of nightmare.. and this has been going on for about a year and a hal...

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“Bring a Guest”

..And so I brought you,
Where my heart said “you're invited,
Bring a guest”.

The party was a masquerade,
but you brought yourself
to find a thousand realities
to my one and only fairy tale,
each one raising their glasses
to the end of the long awaited story.

I didn't expect to find what I witnessed.
The day it was raining
not one single idea was dampened
with regret.
Somehow laughter was created
from the bits and pieces
of broken yesterdays,
shattered by someone else.

I br...

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    Right now, I have this crazy little six year old running around my living room. Oh, yeah... that's my little sister.
I should probably explain myself before I venture any further. I am 18 years old, and I've been writing since I was about 8. Writing is my passion, but it is not my calling. I am a spontanious writer, and it pains me when I have to make sense of my own ideas.
I will be going to school to become an RN for the next two years, and after that I will be on my way to becoming a neo...
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