I know this sounds horrible, but I feel a little bit more relieved than I did last night. I understand that I'm not the bad guy, and I learned a pretty valuable lesson: Sometimes it's better to let people deal with problems they have about you on their own. But, that's not what this is about! That is over, and done with. I don't have time to sit and dwell on it. Tonight in our family devotional, I got to read the verses and what the bible says about the fruits of the spirit, and it is perfect for my journey on a more positive person! So, I'd like to share those verses with you.

Ephesians 5: 8-11 says " In the past you were full of darkness, but now you are full of light in the Lord. So live like children who belong to the light. Light brings every kind of goodness, right living, and truth. Try to learn what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the things done in darkness, which are not worth anything, and expose them."

Luke 6:45 says "Good people bring good things out of the good they stored in their hearts. But evil people bring evil things out of the evil they stored in their hearts. People speak the things that are in their hearts."

As believers we were all once full of darkness. Personally, sometimes I feel like too often I still hide out in the darkness, and I don't let the light shine to me and through me the way it should. I need to always be learning what pleases the Lord, and when I can finally see the darkness as a shadow and the Light is just more than a mere nightlight, the good will noticeably shine.
I truly want to be a good person that Luke is talking about. I want the good in myself to bring out the good in other people. I want to be an inspiration. I want my heart to be filled with only good things, so when my heart feels for other people, those feelings aren't evil. I want the fruits of the spirit. Actions speak louder than words, but actions and words go hand in hand with eachother. We should walk the walk, and talk the talk, but we should also "walk the talk". I can say I am a good, Godly person but what is the point if my actions disprove what I'm saying? My heart needs to change. The negative energy needs to be transformed by God into spiritual light.
If people choose to cover their own faults with what I've done, I can't help that. I'll take it as a grain of salt and move on. I pray they come to peace with me someday, but right now is not that time. Forgiveness was at hand years ago, and I chose to hold it. However, I won't ever be able to forget, because it's partly what has shaped me to who I am today, and the person I'm trying to change.
Someone recently told me they wondered how many people I was going to hurt on my journey. Honestly? I don't know. My goal isn't to hurt anyone, but I can't hold on to things and people that hold me back from being a child of the light. I am a child of the light, a child of God, and a renewed soul. If I hurt someone in the process, that's the exact opposite of what I'm trying to do, but if that's the way it must be, then maybe they are the selfish, negative ones that need to start this journey, too. I don't know how long it's going to take, because I have a lot of things in my life I have to sift through, and it starts with myself.